JOHN  HENRY  NASH  LIBRARY 

SAN  FRANCISCO 

PRESENTED  TO  THE 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 


ROBERT  GORDON  SPRQUL,  PRESIDENT. 
<$>    BY" 


MR.ANDMRS.MILTON  S.RAV 

CECILY,  VIRGINIA ANDROSALYN  RAY 

AND  THE 

RAY  OIL  BURNERCDMPANY 


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'A  good  man  can't  be  kept  down  — think  of  Jonah!" 


THE  LIFE  OF  A 
SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 


BY  HIS 

"BOSWELL 

ILLUSTRATIONS  BY 

SPENCER  WRIGHT 


PAUL  ELDER  AND  COMPANY 
PUBLISHERS,  SAN  FRANCISCO 


TO  MY  BEST  FRIEND 
WHOM  I  HAVE  NEVER  SEEN 


X  Tl 


THE  LIFE  OF  A 
SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 

THE  subject  of  this  sketch 
was  born  in  North  Carolina 
and,  like  Topsy,  "growed." 
The  oldest  inhabitant  hav- 
ing died,   it   was    impossible    to  get 
further  particulars  on  this  point.    It 
is,  perhaps,  just  as  well  not  to  refer 
to  his  remote  ancestors,  he  being  in 
no  way  responsible  for  them.    He  rep- 
resented posterity  at  that  time,  and 
was  not  like  Bellamy,  "Looking  Back- 
ward." 


Advice  is 

cheap  until  you  begin  to 
follow  it. 


"  Go  West,  old  man,  go  West ! " 


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f  i  m 


srfl  In 


THE  LIFE  OF  A  SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 

At  the  tender  age  of  four  he 
took  his  parents  by  the  hand  and, 
in  a  voice  trembling  with  emotion, 
thus  addressed  his  venerable  sire: 

"Go  West,  old  man,  go  West!" 
and  then  bestowed  upon  them  his 
blessing.  Thus,  freed  from  all  en- 
cumbrances and  having  a  banker's 
instinct  strong  within  him,  he  entered 
upon  his  first  financial  transaction, 
which  was  one  of  Exchange:  He 
exchanged  his  milk  bottle  and  con- 
tents for  a  nickel,  which  he  put  in 
the  nearest  slot  and  won  two  plugs 
of  North  Carolina  straight-cut. 

The  Tarheel  &  Cracker -Jack 
Railroad  of  North  Carolina  was  so 
"crooked"  that  the  subject  of  this 


There  is  a  good  deal 

that  might  go  without  saying,  but 

very  little  that  does. 


"Was  made  a  brakeman.' 


tfl 
r  boat 


THE  LIFE  OF  A  SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 

sketch  sold  it  his  "  straight-cut "  for 
an  interest  in  the  road,  and  was 
made  a  brakeman,  with  the  promise 
of  soon  being  "  broke  " ! 

Just  then  the  Civil  War  broke  out, 
and  the  subject  of  this  sketch,  being 
keenly  alive  to  his  own  interests, 
applied  for  the  post  of  brigadier - 
general  in  the  Confederate  Army,  but 
there  being  several  thousands  of 
Southern  colonels  ahead  of  him,  he 
"renigged"  his  application  and  bor- 
rowed a  horse  (he  called  it  "bor- 
rowed" but  men  have  been  hung  for 
doing  it)  and  started  north  for  New 
York.  tf 

A  good  man  can't  be  kept  down  — 
think  of  Jonah ! 


It  is  lucky  to  find  a  horse-shoe 

if  there  be  a  horse  attached ;  but  unlucky 

if  the  owner  be  about. 


"Borrowed  a  horse.' 


THE  LIFE  OF  A  SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 

After  many  adventures,  too  numer- 
ous to  mention,  he  finally  arrived  at 
his  destination  without  any  baggage 
to  speak  of.  In  the  great  metropolis 
he  went  into  the  dry-goods  business, 
which  made  him  dry  and  created  a 
thirst.  So  he  went  into  the  "wet- 
goods"  business,  where  he  in  time 
(and  through  the  till )  acquired  a  com- 
petency—likewise a  florid  complexion 
—  both  of  which  he  retains  to  this  day. 

Becoming  dissatisfied  with  New 
York,  he  " double-crossed"  the  plains 
to  California.  Arriving  in  San  Fran- 
cisco on  a  dark  and  foggy  night,  he 
got  into  the  Specific  Bank  (with  a  sec- 
tional jimmy),  but  found  that  some 
one  had  preceded  him,  as  there  was 


The  hardest  thing  to 

find  is  an  honest  partner  for 

a  swindle. 


"Went  into  the  dry -goods  business.' 


THE  LIFE  OF  A  SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 

nothing  left  in  the  safe — a  job  put  up 
by  the  Scotch,  and  even  up-to-date 
"Scotch"  has  often  got  the  best  of 
him. 

So  he  inquired  his  way  to  the 
corner  of  Bush  and  Sansome  Streets 
and  entered  upon  his  duties  (this 
time  through  the  front  door)  in  Cur- 
phy's  Bank.  Here  he  prospered,  hav- 
ing a  clean  record  and  a  clean  face. 
He  always  shaved  himself — and 
sometimes  his  customers'  notes ! 
Both  being  "  sharp '  transactions, 
things  were  never  dull  at  the  First 
Rational. 

He  was  a  close  student  of  political 
and  personal  economy  —  the  former 
he  found  consisted  in  not  paying 


I 


The  free  lunch 

is  for  the  thirsty,  not  for 

the  hungry. 


"Wet-goods  business.' 


THE  LIFE  OF  A  SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 

more  than  two  dollars  apiece  for 
votes  on  election  day;  the  latter,  in 
living  on  his  relatives  and  ten  cents 
a  day. 

His  chief  amusement  was  playing 
cards.  He  soon  won  every  heart  by 
his  meek  and  lowly  manner  and  his 
delightful  parsimony  with  regard  to 
facts. 

At  present  he  enjoys  an  income 
that  is  reported  very  large  to  every- 
body but  the  commissioner  of  taxes. 

The  subject  of  this  sketch  finally 
became  a  great  financier  and  was 
offered  many  positions  of  trust  and 
emolument;  among  them  a  director- 
ship in  the  Equitable  Life  Assurance 
Society  of  New  York,  but,  mindful  of 


The  still  small  voice  of 

conscience  would  need  a  megaphone  to  attract 
the  attention  of  some  people* 


DR3D312 
X  M  A 

iimiinrannui 


"Got  into  the  Specific  Bank." 


THE  LIFE  OF  A  SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 

the  fate  of  Alexander  the  Great,  this 
offer  to  play  the  little  game  of  Hyde 
and  seek  was  declined.  Hence  he  is 
not  in  jail. 

The  subject  of  this  sketch  declines 
to  admit  that  Doctor  Osier's  theory 
is  correct,  at  least  as  far  as  chloro- 
form goes.  He  tried  a  bottle  of  it, 
but  as  nothing  that  ever  came  out  of 
a  bottle  could  hurt  him,  he  is  still 
with  us.  And  we  hope  he  may  re- 
main so  for  many  years.  When  Ga- 
briel toots  his  final  horn  we  feel 
confident  that  St.  Peter  will  make  him 
the  custodian  of  Peter's  Pence,  and, 
when  the  angels  and  the  Choir 
Invisible  trumpet  him  a  gladsome 
welcome  to  the  Gates  Ajar,  we  have 


Beware  of  the  stuff 

you  swallow  today  and  taste 

tomorrow. 


"Tried  a  bottle  of  it." 


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THE  LIFE  OF  A  SUCCESSFUL  BANKER 

every  confidence  that  he  will  step  in 
and  beat  the  band.  As  for  those  sor- 
rowing friends  he  leaves  behind,  they 
will  erect  a  simple,  touching,  and 
modest  little  tablet  to  his  memory,  on 
which  will  be  inscribed: 

Hie  jacet  Sam  — whom  we  deplore, 
Thou  art  not  dead — just  gone  before. 
Take  not  more  than  thy  share  of  glory, 
For  we  come  next  —  Memento  Mori. 


Pay  as  you  go, 

but  not  if  you  intend  going 

for  good. 


rriiCELESTIAL 
DEPOSITORY!; 


"A  gladsome  welcome  to  the  Gates  Ajar." 


DONE  INTO  A  BOOK  BY  PAUL  ELDER  AND 
COMPANY  AT  THE  TOMOYE  PRESS,  SAN 
FRANCISCO,  IN  THE  YEAR  NINETEEN  HUN- 
DRED AND  FIVE,  PRINTED  FROM  LETTER- 
PRESS,  THE  EDITION  LIMITED  TO  FIFTY- 
FIVE  COPIES  FOR  PRIVATE  CIRCULATION 


^^^^^^^^^^BP 


